Kohl's Beauty Box Review

Whoever said complaining didn't get you anything needs to shut up.

I was bummed about Allure's summer beauty box going on sale during a final exam, even though I was on the fence about ordering it anyway. I tweeted my frustration and this happened:

...you have my attention.

I DM'd them and they asked for my address and told me they were sending me a beauty box. UM HECK YES. It arrived on May 19th - not bad for something I didn't pay for at all.

I do think it's a bit strange to call it a box, considering it came in an adorable bag.

Strange nomenclature aside, I'm thrilled it came in a bag. Do I have more makeup bags than I know what to do with? Yes. Do I love the pants off of this black polka dot one anyway? Still yes.

HELLO. 

Here's what was inside. Full-size products are indicated with (FS) behind their value.

Hydroxatone AM/PM Anti-Wrinkle Complex, 0.3 oz, approx. value $20.70
Um, wow. A full-size of this wrinkle cream costs $69. Yowza. (Sadly, I know this is not unusual.) I'm at the point in my life where I know I need to start preventative skin care, but am half too lazy/cheap to and half protesting the societal ideals that require women to be terrified of wrinkles but not men. Erm. Anyway, once I see my first wrinkle I'll probably cry and start using this, so I'm saving it.

Sugar Sweet Cheeks Cheek Stick in Rosy Posy, 0.15 oz, approx. value $10 (FS)
I did not think I'd be on the blush stick train, but Tarte's cheekstain changed my mind. This is a good bit smaller. It's also pigmented as fuck.

L: one swipe (!), R: blended out

For darker-skinned folk, pigmentation on blushes can be a good thing. For me, it's definitely a curse. I'm hesitant to use this just because it is so bold, and I'm not sure that the color flatters me. If I do use it it won't be like Tarte's where I swipe it on my cheeks, blend it with a blush brush, and go - with this, I'd use a brush to pick up a little bit at a time and caaarefully blend it out. I'm not sure I want to spend that much time on blush!

Mariah Carey Dreams Perfume, .05 fl oz, approx. value $1.17
I'm not big on perfume; I prefer more masculine scents these days. However, as far as perfumes go, this one is okay. It reminds me of Vera Wang's Princess, which I wore religiously throughout middle school. Not my cup of tea, but a nice fragrance.

Essie Nail Polish in Mojito Madness, .46 fl oz, approx. value $8.50 (FS)
UM, I LOVE ESSIE. And I've wanted this color for over a year. I let out a small squeal when I saw this item. Unfortunately I just started a job where I am only allowed to wear neutral colors of nail polish & some pinks. I did a quick coat, though, to see what it looked like:

It looks a bit more olive-y in the picture than it is in real life, but that's pretty accurate. Yes, I just went to my window. I've already gone outside once today, what more do you want from me? 

Purminerals Chateau de Vine Lipstick, .0003 oz, approx. value ??
I didn't bother calculating the value on these. Too many zeroes. The samples are so strange:

WHY. How am I supposed to get an accurate idea of your product, especially texture? Also, I'm not 12. Lipstick samples packaged as lip prints does not appeal to me in any way.

And then I flipped it over.

NO. My entire body recoiled looking at this. That is an awful way to apply lipstick, unless your lips are like... the exact same shape as the card and you can line it up perfectly. I still have every brush from my OCC lip tars, a RT lip brush, and a Jane Iredale. This is not a way I want to put on lipstick. Back to the drawing board, Purminerals. No.

(Also, as a wine girl, I wish the names were more wine-y for a vineyard collection.)

Eylure Naturalites False Lashes, approx. value $5.99 (FS)
I've recently gotten really into false lashes, so this was actually great timing. I like these. They're not my favorite and not quite natural, but definitely not dramatic and un-intimidating for newbies.

Jane Cream Eyeshadow in Brilliant Bronze, .14 oz, approx. value $8.00 (FS)
I was a bit sad to see this, since I don't use cream shadow much and thought I had a similar color. However, the poor lighting I opened this in was to blame! I was thrilled to see once I swatched it that this is a metallic gold, unlike the brown 'tini shadow I possess.

'tini on left, Jane on right

I don't really think of these as creams; more like... liquids? Mousse? I mean, they're nothing like Bobbi Brown cream shadows or Maybelline Color Tattoos. Still, now that I have two in the same color family, I might play around with a dark-ish neutral look using these.

Lorac Cobra Mascara, .14 oz, approx. value $11.23
Hm. This isn't available on Kohl's website, which is... an interesting marketing choice. If I liked this deluxe sample, I would have to buy it from a competitor. I would still, theoretically, now know about Lorac products, so perhaps that's what they're going for? This is an okay mascara. I'd rate it about a 6. Average volume and length, a few fewer clumps than I generally expect.

Elle Lip Gloss in 07, .17 oz, approx. value $16.00
I'm not a big lip gloss person. I find them sticky and with my hair, I spend half my day pulling strands of hair out of my lips. I tried this on and it's not my bag. The color isn't bad, though it's a bit browner than I tend to like. Its big no, though, is the rainbow glitter that makes me feel like I'm 12 again. It's also thicker than other lip glosses. While it may be an advantage to some people, it has me mashing my lips together and feeling like at some point they might stick. So, no thanks for me. Sorry there's no swatch but the pictures didn't turn out and I'm unwilling to put it on again, even for science.

Be Delectable Hand Cream in Coconut & Cream, 2 fl. oz, approx. value $5.50
I fucking love coconut. This hand cream is no exception; it smells delicious. It goes on a tad bit greasy but dries quickly and doesn't leave any icky trace behind, so I'm okay with it. This may be my new go-to lotion that I keep in my purse.

theBalm How 'Bout Them Apples? in Pie, 0.7 oz, approx. value $5.33
OMG. I was heartbroken not to get this item in my Birchbox, so I'm thrilled I get to try it now! I wouldn't use these on my lips (I don't like the texture), but I'm all about trying out blushes lately. For such a tiny sample (dime-size), the packet is very well-constructed - I'm pretty sure there's even a magnet in there to keep it closed. Go theBalm. I was almost scared to swatch this, lest it not live up to my expectations; fortunately, it definitely did.

L: one swipe, R: blended. Ignore random swatches to the right.

First of all, the formula is awesome - super easy to pick up color. The camera isn't doing this one justice, possibly because it is a perfect blush for me; it blends easily and quickly into something that doesn't make me look like a clown. I have a feeling I'm going to go through this pretty quickly, and will probably end up buying the full palette, which I've been wanting to do for months anyway.

In conclusion: wow. Go Kohl's. I received over $90 worth of product, and quite a few will get used! Now, the million-dollar question: will Kohl's be my new go-to for my beauty needs? I'm certainly impressed with their brands - I never knew they carried such awesome beauty products! - but they will probably not replace Sephora and Ulta, simply because they do not have a reward program. However, if there was a coupon at Kohl's or a product I needed right now unavailable at Sephora or Ulta, I would definitely go to Kohl's.